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It’s been awhile since I’ve been able to post something…anything…a sign of life to show I still exist in the blogging sphere. I do still exist. Really, I do.

You see, I went and accepted a job even though I knew upon entering the interview for the position that it wasn’t going to be a good thing to do. But I did anyway. I was doing the right thing, the adult thing…what was expected of me. I had a house to start paying for again vs. an elderly family member doing it, bills, car payments and oh, yes….I’m a member of the huge student loan club. My unemployment and time had run out.

So I put on my game face. Didn’t let any of you see my concerns, my premonitions of disaster, my tears. I went to the job knowing just the place alone brought back memories of my last job there and made me fight back vomiting. I jumped in the pool of “try to see the positives”. I tried to give it my best. I’m actually still trying but my rope is getting very short. Maybe soon I’ll be able to write about all that has gone wrong with this job. Some nights when I would finally get home and tell my mom about some things she would stare at me in amazement. Then we would both start laughing at the shear horribleness of it all – like still not having a phone (didn’t get one until end of week 2). This is stressful and yet funny since my position focuses around answering calls. Or how they couldn’t find me a headset after that and I ended up with one that’s taped together. I’m still attempting to hear callers through it while pretty much everyone else has now been upgraded to a wireless headset. Yes, I could go ask to use someone’s old not taped together tethered headset but by this point, I’m tired of fighting and tired of doing other peoples’ jobs.

This past week, week 4, just synthesized all the worst into one big ball of “worstness”. I’m sure that’s not a real work but cut me some slack or creative license. I’m still processing it all. I come home brain dead with nothing in me to read, write or even study for my certification exam. I can’t write about those things yet. However, I knew I had to write something here to let you know I haven’t given up…I’m just being held hostage by my job.

I’ve put in motion a full steam ahead approach to get me the heck out of my current job…even if this means piecing a whole bunch of small jobs together. FYI, this job entailed a $20,000 pay cut so it wasn’t paying all the bills either. But aren’t food and gas for the car over-rated? The family, which means mom and I, oh and probably the cats too, have decided that no job is worth crying every day and night about, throwing up over and making you think about ways to stock pile pills and alcohol as your ultimate route of escape.

So please, have faith in me and my “Wisdom Project”. I will find a way back to my writing about all the amazing wisdom we as humans collect as we earn our years on this planet.