Sofia’s Wisdom: Cancer Can Change How You View Life – A Survivor’s Story

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breast cancer, Cher, determination, insight, life, mastectomy, Roman Catholic, self-care, Sofia's Wisdom, spirituality, support, survivorship, wisdom

Photo by: maf04 (under CC sharing rights)

What would you do if you were told you had breast cancer? Any men reading this? You too could be told you have breast cancer. It’s not just a female disease. So…what would you do? Would you fight? Would you go to all lengths possible in order to fight and win against this disease? Say you decide to fight against it with all that’s available and all you have inside of you. And you survive…maybe you’re even bold enough to say you won. You celebrate every year after on the date you were told you were cancer free. The years pass…5 years…a decade…18 years…then WHAM! It comes back. What would you do then? How has your attitude changed? Your approach to going to battle against this disease once again when you had thought you were in the clear…almost 2 decades?

Well, that’s the situation Susan Ricci has lived. Susan is a breast cancer survivor, two times over. I interviewed Susan back in October 2014 while home for a family visit. I wanted to share her story because of her strength and will to live. I am grateful that she agreed to sit down, speak with me and allow me to share her story with everyone. I’m hoping she agreed not just because we’re family. We may not be blood but she has been my “godsister” all my life. Pretty much makes her family. 😉

Susan is very candid about her memories of being diagnosed the first time and then a second time. Shares about her decision during her second battle with breast cancer to undergo elective double mastectomy. Her recovery the second time has not been as smooth as the first; yet she fights on to live life to the fullest every day. She opens up about the differences in her approach to fight and the types of support she had during each bout. A song by Cher has been almost an anthem to her to keep going, keep getting up to fight. Thank you Cher for giving her the will to fight because you helped keep Susan in our lives. She has a stronger will than me. Ultimately, what Susan shows is that you can’t fight alone when battling any cancer. It takes a family and what Susan now knows is that family isn’t always just your blood but your extended family, your network, other survivors and yes, even a song by a favorite singer.

This is Susan’s answer to the question, “what would you do if you were told you had breast cancer…twice?” Please share this video, especially if you know of someone fighting to win against breast cancer.

Oh How the World Has Changed

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childhood memories, documentary, history, insight, interviews, life history, living conditions, technological advances, The Great Depression

This past Sunday I had the pleasure to interview a nice gentleman named Fred. Fred is an 82-year-old African-American who grew up the first 10 years of his life on the farm in Austin, Ohio. He and his family then moved to nearby Columbus. Given his age, you can calculate that Fred lived on the farm from 1932 (when he was born) until the family moved in 1942.

I had thought that Fred, a modest man, would need some convincing and encouragement to speak about his life. Instead, I was gifted with an eloquent and detailed review of his experiences that lasted almost two hours total. Fred shared about not having the creature comforts and technology that we take for granted today. He slept on a straw mattress in a house without heat or electricity. Being on a farm during the Depression sheltered him and his family from being without food. He recalls that farmers helped the community out and held several rows of their crops open to anyone in need. Do they do that today? Upon moving to Columbus at the age of 10, his family was able to live in a home with electricity but still no heat. Remember party lines? Fred does. Fred continued to share his memories of childhood then into college and beyond. When a gift like this comes along, you let that person speak all they want. Fred didn’t disappoint.

I am pleased to bring to you the first of two outtakes from this conversation; Fred recalling his early life from 1932 to 1952. I think you will be amazed by what he remembers. It is not often that you can learn from living history. What Fred shares is so much better and more worthwhile than anything you can read in a school history book. I hope you will enjoy it and share it with others, especially your children. Our society has come a mind-bogglingly long way in a very short time. It benefits us to stop periodically to realize this, remember and be appreciative of all the hard work and innovation that has occurred in less than 100 years.

Image Credit: QuotesNSmiles

Time Can Change So Much

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Civil Rights, documentary, insight, interviews, life history, segregation, video documentaries, video recordings

 

I was able to record my first life review for Sofia – Wisdom of the Ages on September 21, 2014. My subject was Linda, who was born in the Columbus, Ohio area in 1948. Linda is African American and was open to recalling how it was growing up in Columbus during a period of great social change in the United States. In her retelling of this time period, she also included memories of her father’s experiences as a child even earlier on during this era. Her father’s experience contained more examples of racial segregation than what she experienced, although she did experience it herself. She also compared life as a black in the North vs. when she briefly lived in Tennessee as a young woman.

Our overall conversation lasted well over 90 minutes. However, it was in the final minutes that Linda interjected saying that she wanted to add something. She was struck by a memory that had just returned to her. She had recalled a few years back being asked to be on her high school’s class reunion committee. She was surprised that she had been asked to participate since although the school had been integrated, there was still the tendency of the races not to socialize or mix. She continued to relate a discussion had started during one planning meeting in which the class prom was remembered. Linda divulged that the prom hadn’t meant much to her “group”.  “It didn’t even have the music we liked.” (paraphrased) She found it interesting that the others in the group weren’t aware that this was happening; that it never occurred to them that their black classmates would have had other preferences in music or differing opinions as to how the prom should be planned. As the conversations continued that night, Linda said the group of women had several other instances of being unaware of how the other “groups” felt or viewed things at the time.  This unawareness had also taken place on both sides.

Linda finished by saying she was amazed at this unawareness that had occurred back then in her high school. It was just how things were done then. Today, a prom committee would rarely if ever, consider just catering to one race’s music preference, for instance. She was struck by how much had changed since her time in high school and for high schools today. Although we can argue there is still so much more we can improve upon for race relations in our country, “now that we know better, [we try to] do better.”

I hope you will take the time to view Linda’s retelling.  It was very interesting to hear her recall her childhood, in general. I cannot do justice to her own words. Please go listen to her eloquently speak for herself.

Quote Image: Henrietta Curtis

Writing 101: Freewrite – Three Songs of Importance. Only 3!?!

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insight, observations, stories, Writing 101

Free write about three songs of importance in my life for fifteen minutes.  Dang, I froze because my head got flooded with fragments of songs clogging up my brain. I’ve loved music since way back when. All kinds of music too.  My parents were a bit older when they had me.  So I’ve grown up with the music of the old movie musicals playing on the TV Sunday mornings.  My sisters are several years older than me.  This meant folk artists of the 60s-70s like Carly Simon and who was it that sang, “You’ve got a friend” to the new wave/alternative bands once they started to emerge.  But then the other sister liked rock and my music experience ended up adding Steely Dan, The Eagles and Aerosmith.  Not a wonder I ended up in college doing a college radio DJ gig for a little bit. By then I was more into alternative, punk and the early stages of goth…you know…I hate the world BUT back then I wasn’t about to go hurt someone else over my internal dismay.

So the interesting thing about getting ready to start with this was waiting to see what 3 songs came into my mind while I slept then woke up today.  Yes, I had to sleep on it.  I seem to have this thing in my life that I often wake up singing a song and find it’s trying to tell me something I need to attend to or that I’ve been trying to work out in my subconscious when I sleep.  That’ what the brain does…you’re asleep but it works quietly in the background sub conscious trying to delete information gathered that’s not needed and then try to see if it can figure out how to help you with something that may be bothering you or needs to be problem solved right away.  I hate it when it wakes me up with a solution at 4:00 a.m.! I also have one song that seems to pop up on the radio every time I’m needing to make a major change in my life or I’ve actually decided to make a change and maybe not feeling that it’s the decision others would have made or aren’t supporting me.

Drumroll……the 3 songs that came to me are:

1 )What A Wonderful World – Louis Armstrong version

2) Praise Chorus – Jimmy Eat World

3) Here I go Again on my Own – Whitesnake….yes, Whitesnake.

Can you guess which one is the one that pops on the radio out of no where every time I make a major, if not life changing, decision?

“Well, I know what it means…to walk along the lonely street of dreams. An’ here I go again on my own.
Goin’ down the only road I’ve ever known,
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone
An’ I’ve made up my mind
I ain’t wasting no more time”

Seems fitting because I’ve been dealing with the wasting time issue and getting my project up and off the ground finally after 10 years.  Will this song stop following me now, letting me know I’m on the right track?  Will I get to jump up and down like I’m getting ready for the race and ready to go…that’s what the Jimmy Eat World song does.  Watch out if I’m driving and the daily Jimmy Sing Along comes on the radio.  That song wakes me up.  Gets me focused. As for Louis, I sometimes go through periods of not really liking what I see going on in the world today.  But then something happens that gives me back my belief in this world; that we are capable of kindness and surrounded by beauty even in the most unusual places.

Well now I’ve done it….

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documentary, insight, video documentaries

I can have a tendency to procrastinate as I’ve already mentioned. It’s a ten step program and I keep getting stuck on the third step (just joking). Sometimes the procrastination comes from my wanting and thinking things have to be perfect. I realized this was the case with recording my first video which I wanted to act as an overall introduction to this endevor. This video would entail a lot of firsts for me; first time videotaping, editing, uploading to YouTube and ultimately now my first link in a post here. I was allowing myself to get stuck on so many details and then the “what ifs” that I was becoming frozen. I knew I had to go forward regardless of whether I felt sufficiently planned, organized or rehearsed. I was never going to get to a state of complete satisfaction. Taking a deep breath, I recorded the video.

I was correct. I will never be satisfied with what I recorded and have now decided to share with you. I see more errors and imperfections, hopefully more than you will. However, isn’t that life? Don’t we all wish we could plan things and always get it right the first time? The funny thing as I thought about this I realized something. Silly, life can’t be planned for completely. The times in my life I tried to plan how things would go and have every step accounted for resulted many times in a less joyful experience.

I am aware that to be successful in my goals for this project there will need to be planning and organizing. However, I also acknowledge that in some aspects I’m going to have to trust in my creative side and let things be unpredictable periodically. Sometimes the unpredictable things in life, mine at least, have resulted in some of my best memories and accomplishments. Here’s to finding a good balance.

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” – Maya Angelou

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insight, quotes, viewpoint

Overall, I agree with what Ms. Angelou wrote. Yet this quote stayed with me yesterday into today trying to wrap my thoughts around a part of it I didn’t fully agree. Working with people in the late stages of Alzheimer’s, I have witnessed that these individuals may not remember you tomorrow, never mind in a few hours, but they do remember how you treated them. Be mindful of how you treat those around you, your loved ones, your friends, because the essence of your interactions stays with them.

As I begin my journey to document the stories and histories of others, I notice that former patients’ names that have stayed with me for so long are starting to disappear from my recall. I can’t recall every detail of stories they’ve told me but portions remain. Especially the words shared that led to discoveries within myself. The words ARE still there. Maybe to be paraphrased versus confidently quoted verbatim – but they are still within me. I feel words that affected you strongly in either a positive or negative manner can stay present for a long time. And maybe that’s just it…the words also lead to the feelings brought about within you. They are symbiotic. The words, the actions, the result of a feeling. They are all essential. These are my thoughts and my experience so far. Ms. Angelou had her own which was her truth. If her goal was to have people ponder on her words (interestingly enough) then she succeeded with me. Thank you, mam.

Eisele Cunningham

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
– Maya Angelou

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